"It's no fault but mine"

Title="If I Only had a Heart"--The Maine

It's odd how others around you know what you need most even when you don't.

Potentially more on this later.

sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness

Sometimes you just need to stay in. Sometimes you have to just remember what you actually like, not what everyone else wants you to like. Today is one of those sometimes. It's a Saturday night and I'm staying in watching Mrs. Doubtfire. I forget sometimes that I really like this sort of stuff. I like to read, watch movies no one else is fond of, look up random quotes, write, listen to music that's not billboard 100, and just be me. It's kind of refreshing. My big quote right now is "She needs to feel that fire." Completely what I need right now. I'm way too complacent in my life right now. I feel like this summer has kind of made me brain dead which is weird because I swear I use it at work. I miss class. I don't have anything especially insightful to write today, but that's okay. :)

I'm the Kind of Person that Walks into a Door and Apologizes

There's quite the story to back that title up and here it is. From 10/9/08:

The subject is what the bumper sticker my bestest friend just sent me on facebook. I swear, no matter how much I think the people here know me, there's no way they can ever understand what my besties do. It's not anything against them, it's just Stef and Katie have been around since I was 5. I mean they have an advantage. I saw that bumper sticker and had to write. Now let me recount (is that how you spell it) well in french it's recontre (I'm still in french mode i just got out of class) but anyway...it was the year 2006 (i think) and it was New Year's Eve. Now NYE=best friends together. I mean there's just no changing that. Well we went to Jewel to get stuff to make puppy chow and of course fruit snacks. Yes, we're obsessed w/fruit snacks. So we're standing inline and the lines go back into the aisles. We happen to be standing in the canned soup aisle. What a good one to pick?! They have those stupid coupon things hanging out of the shelves and I'm just talking to Katie when all of a sudden I bump into one. Sure enough I apologize. Yes, I apologized to coupons. The woman behind us found it hysterical. And this was before I even realized my life was a joke.

Laugh at yourself, it makes life so much more bearable.

Do you ever look at someone and just know you'd totally be good friends with that person if you knew them better? Today in French our teacher made us change seats (she's crazy, but those are stories for a different day) and this one guy who usually sits on the other side of the room sat next to me. 2 seconds into class we're making bad jokes using "touche" and laughing at our pronounciation of the word "femme". I totally know this kid and I would get along wonderfully. Neither one of us takes ourselves too seriously and since now we're sequestered (ooooo good word!) to these seats from now on, I believe this kid and I will continue to be ridiculous.

I'm loving life right now. I have so much going on, but it's fine. I need to stop complaining about being busy. That's my goal for the next week. I just whine/complain too much in general.

"I want a moment to be real, wanna touch things I don't feel, wanna hold on and feel I belong and how can the world want me to change they're the ones that stay the same"--Goo Goo Dolls "I'm Still Here"

I have an obsession with the Goo Goo Dolls that I need to rediscover. I love rediscovering old things and remembering how much you love them. Like Full House.

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This entry makes me happy. :)

And now I try to condense...

So this is not my first blog nor will it be my last. I got sick of the last host site so I switched over to what all the cool kids were doing. But since I really like some of my old entries from the other blog I will continually post those here along with new entries. It's kind of an experiment since my previous blog had posts that I had written a long time before I even posted them online. Long story short--I like to write. A lot. Therefore, my writings are scattered everywhere and even though I know they may not be the most influential/awe inspiring piece of literature ever written they work for me and that's all that matters. Without furtherado here is one of my old entries from the previous blog.

5.10.08 "It's hard to change the way you lose if you've never won"

The awfully beautiful rain inspired me to write today. It's weird to get inspired. It's such a thing that you can't explain. I can sit and write for hours on a day like this. Maybe I'm destined to write my life away. Maybe that's why I was a journalism major. Maybe that's why I sometimes still long to go back into writing that way. Maybe I should just write a book. Maybe I'm sick of writing papers that have no meaning. I want to write to write. I don't want to be graded. I want to write to inspire because good writing inspires me. As I said in my last post, lyrics inspire me more than I can ever say. The subject of this entry is a line from "All We Are" by Matt Nathanson. Since I write a lot more in my regular journal I keep forgetting to write in this. One of my favorite things is an airport. I know it may sound absurd, but you can witness every emotion in an airport. There's people excited to go on vacation, there's people anticipating seeing a loved one, there's people scared to death because they're meeting someone they haven't seen in a long time, there's people sad knowing they're flying to mourn someone's death. That's the thing, I can sit in an airport all day and write stories about the people I see. There's kids, there's old people, there's newlyweds, there's whites, there's blacks, there's everyone. It brings together everyone. I do dream about working in an airport. I'm really thinking about doing research about people use airports and not just to fly. How they communicate within them, why they're there, how everyone in the airport works together. It's such a calming yet exciting place. I've not always had the best experiences in airports, but that's what I love. Everytime it's different. It's not just a building, it's a coming together of every walk of life.

Enough about my love of airports. To end this I'll post a random entry from the written journal I keep. (I make that sound singular, but there's probably a good 5 of them, but only 1 at school with me)
A tad long but uplifting nonetheless:
2/13/07 (aka senior year)I live for:-sunsets when the sky is a mixture of pink, orange and yellow-
snow days when the snow never seems to stop falling and it lands so gently-
nights of doing nothing, but sitting around at someone's house-
someone saying hi to me that I barely talk to-
seeing a smile-
hugs-
flowers especially when they catch rain on their petals

"Always love, hate will get you everytime" --Nada Surf